Navigating Female Friendships – Episode 2

Bola knew her mum had a point but wasn’t ready to consider it. She stood up. ‘Mummy, I don’t want to talk about it again. I am not going; she doesn’t need me. You won’t believe that she is talking to other people but giving me the silent treatment and that’s just wrong. She needs to grow up. She was awful when we last spoke, and I also changed it for her.’ She walked towards her room.

Her mum followed. ‘Nawa! I am not trying to upset you more than you already are.’ she chuckled. ‘I just want you to consider it from another perspective. Sometimes, people project their deepest, truest emotions on their loved ones, and it’s not fair; it is wrong, and I agree with you, but this is where understanding comes into play. Now is not the time to lash out or punish her. Her silent treatment may be a cry for help, and you do not want to miss her party just because your ego is bruised.’

Bola was quiet. Mrs George continued.

‘There will be a time when both of you need to address things, but right now is not the time, and you need to put your feelings aside, show up and be there for her. After the party, when you both have some alone time, don’t ask her if she is okay because she is not okay. Instead, use these words. ‘Titi, I know you are obviously unhappy, and I don’t know what it is…I wish you would tell me, but I also understand that you will tell me in your own time. You are my best friend, and I am here for you whenever you need—‘

‘Aaargh! Fine, you are right, I’ll go. Sigh. You are good at this mum.’ Bola said with a smile.

‘Good at what?’

‘Giving invisible hugs. Your words are like hugs. Plus, you do this parenting thing so well that sometimes I forget you are a single mum. Thank you.

‘Abeg abeg, no mushy stuff. I believe my work here is done. I need to do some food prep for dinner. You should eat well at Titi’s, so you only need dinner when you return.’

‘Of course! I was very intentional with the food menu’. Bola rolled her eyes and laughed heartily as her mum went into the kitchen. She considered herself lucky to have this sort of relationship with her mother.

Bola hated that she was straightforward to read, especially by her mother. But the woman had a point. She needed to give Titi a piece of her mind, but she also needed to consider that the timing could be awful. It’s not what Jesus would have done; and she was first a Christian.

She picked up her phone to call her best friend, so the latter knew she was running late. That was when she saw the missed calls. 12 missed calls. Five were from Titi; the others were from their mutual friends. Her phone had been on silent.

‘Oh, sugar! But that’s odd. I already sorted out everything so no one would miss my absence.’ She was dialling Titi’s number when another mutual friend, Tinuke’s call came in.

‘Hello! Bola? Can you hear me?’ Tinuke sounded scared.

‘Yes, is everything okay? What’s going on?’

‘There hasssss beee—-en an ac—ci—dent.’ she was crying now. ‘Titi is in the hospital; I don’t know if she is going to make it. She lost so much blood. Everyone is here. You need to come now! Please!

Bola felt blood drain from her face.

To be continued…