Navigating Female Friendship – Episode 5

‘Titi.’ Her mum held her gently, but Titi flung her hand away. Her daughter was furious, as she could tell. But what does a 20-year-old lady know about marriage and commitment? ‘Listen, it is not as simple as you think. We have tried to make it work. You know we have. Sometimes, some things are just beyond your control.’

‘Mummy, you and Dad getting a divorce is not beyond your control. It’s because you have given up on each other, which is unfair. Please… I can’t deal with shared parenting, another man, or another woman in dad’s life. I can’t…oh my God, are you going to get pregnant for another man? Am I going to have stepsiblings? Oh my God, I can’t do this mummy. Please!’ Titi fell to the floor and wept unconsolably.

Bimpe Williams held her sobbing daughter. It broke her heart to see her cry this way. She knew it would be difficult, but they concluded that a divorce was the best. It was complex. Dare had cheated on her a few years ago, and everything spiralled from there. They had gone to therapy, went for counselling in church, but nothing helped. Deep down, she felt her disobedience had caught up with her. She had married Dare when he was at his best, so she didn’t think that him being spiritually immature was a deal breaker for her. After all, he was going to church.

‘Is Daddy going to move out?’ Titi asked, her face was soaked in tears.

‘I am not sure yet, my darling. But eventually, we wouldn’t be living together. Titi, I am really sorry.’

Titi’s phone rang at that moment. She looked at the caller ID. Bola. Sigh, I can’t talk right now. She declined the call.

‘Did you guys think about me at all? How this would affect me. I have always bragged about having the best parents. Dad was present for all my activities. You guys were so perfect. I know he cheated, but I thought you had let that go.’

Her phone rang again.

‘You should pick up your call Titi. Bola would start to worry. Let me make something for you to eat. I would take these things to the laundry.’

Titi was in no mood to talk to anyone. Although she had hinted Bola about her parents’ friction, her friend was however unaware it was serious enough to lead to a divorce.

‘Hello’, Titi said, fighting back the tears.

‘Titi! What did I do? You raised your voice at me this morning; you ignored me when you saw me at the exco meeting. You didn’t even let me know when you were going home. Now you are declining my call. When did we start all these? The mature thing is to talk to me about whatever is going on…Hello? Are you there?’